Adding a New Dog after Losing One--or Not

I answered a question today from someone who unexpectedly and tragically lost a dog to an accident, leaving the family with one older male dog. My answer:

I lost a dog myself on December 27th, to what the veterinarian thinks was probably a brain tumor. He blessedly did have the chance to live a long life. I had expected to add another dog when I lost him, but observing the dynamic between my two remaining dogs, both female, I decided to wait a bit and see how that goes.

We can always add another dog. But once we do that, it's more than most of us can stand to give one up because we realize too late that, while we and our dogs can cope as a group, everyone would have been happier if we had not added that dog at that time. So it's always best to wait until we're sure.

One thing that can happen with a bit of a wait is that the dog who might have thought he'd like to be an "only" becomes a little lonely. Then he's a lot more interested in having a new housemate move in, and the whole process could start off happier. There's a lot of truth to the adage "first impressions are lasting impressions" when it comes to dogs. If your dog is welcoming and sweet to a newbie, their relationship is likely to forever be better than it would have been if he had not been in the mood for company.

And the other thing of course is that he may indeed want to be an only dog, or you may decide it's best for now. What I'm trying is to see if my girls can get along okay until the nearly 13-year-old bad-tempered one goes to her heavenly reward. Then instead of coming into a household with a dog who flies into a rage at will, the new boy dog can come join a sweet middle-aged girl dog who loves to play. She, too, will be free to enjoy him without being randomly attacked by the other female.

Your older dog might not enjoy a new youngster, or he might. Taking some time will give both you and him opportunities to readjust your relationship and think about what you would like. Of course you also want to think about your facilities and resources for dog care. In our case it is whether we want to be dealing with the ills that often arise in an old dog at the same time we train a new dog who needs to be trained to a very sophisticated level. Care of a geriatric dog can be exhausting and expensive toward the end, and we've just been through that. Makes you think.

Hang in there. Enjoy your dog, and get to know him all over again. Find new ways to be together. Dogs' lives are short. More and more in recent years, I think of the expression "Redeem the time." It so very much applies to the time we have with our dogs. God bless you.